Day 51

Agh, long day today. Woke up feeling lousy, but dragged my butt outta bed and threw myself into my 6-mile walk. I managed it alright - used to be able to knock it out in 15-minute miles, an hou-and-a-half walk, and today it only took me about an hour and 40 minutes. Not too bad. I was BEAT afterwards, though ... contorted myself through 30 minutes of yoga, took a quick shower, and tried to grab a nap. No dice; gave up after awhile and just went on about my day. I did another cardio and some strength training later, but my heart wasn't in it. I feel pretty lousy - tired, sore, no appetite, headache. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm so over it.

I ran really low on my calorie count today - only 700 total. I was in such a hurry to get on my walk that I only did half an apple for breakfast; lunch was a Cooking Light recipe for chicken noodle soup that turned out really tasty; dinner was a broiled hamburger patty and some nasty bag-n-steam-style veggies. Guess I'll have to make a point of chopping fresh veggies - frozen is right out. The low calorie count is concerning, though; I'll need to work in a late-night snack after I finish this post.

I feel bad, that all my post are such downers lately. It's not that I'm tired of the program, or tired of being around my family, or anything like that - this has been some amazing quality time, and it's allowed me to reinvent myself. I just miss the familiarity of Norman ... I mean, ever since I first went away to college, I haven't come back to Little Rock for more than two weeks at a time. Now we're coming up on eight weeks, nine by the time I actually return home. It's so hard to focus my mind on the program when it's so busy looking ahead to seeing my brother in NYC, and to being with my friends at the Symposium on Tuesdays, and beginning my new lifestyle back in the comfort of my own home. I'm trying not to count down, but after all the counting I've done this summer, it's a hard habit to break.

Ah well. I'm trying my damnedest to push myself twice as hard, not only for the added progress but also for the distraction. I'm so close to the end of the program and so close to my weight loss goal ... I can't let myself slow down now. Not yet.