Prologue

So a lot of you may have heard me mention my plans for the summer, something I've been referring to (only half-jokingly) as Heald Family Fitness Camp, but a lot of you may not totally know what it is, or why I'm doing it. Essentially, I've had to face some hard truths about myself this semester.

I've always been a heavy girl. Sure, I've put lots of prettier names on it over the years - I've called myself curvy, shapely, voluptuous, and a whole host of other euphemisms that try to gloss over the truth of the matter. When it comes down to it, I'm not just pear-shaped or hourglass or any of that nonsense. I am overweight, and I have been so for much of my life.

However, until recently I had convinced myself that I was still in control. Sure, I wasn't eating the best foods, but I wasn't eating much and I was working out a few times a week. I honestly thought that I was still on top of things, and that a tiny bit of extra work would be all it took to balance things out. I figured if things got out of control, I'd see it happening and get back in control before things got out of hand.

Turns out I was wrong about that, unfortunately. Over the last year, I've gained an appalling amount of weight before I even realized it was happening. I just weighed myself on my bathroom scale before sitting down to write - I clocked in at 237 lbs, a very unhealthy weight for a 5'4'' woman. In addition, I'm PCOS-positive, a pre-diabetic condition which makes me insulin resistant; should I fail to maintain a healthy weight, it could make the leap to diabetes and make my life a hell of a lot harder.

This is me drawing a line in the sand - no more. No more kidding myself about my weight, no more justifying my heaviness with excuses, no hiding my weight with properly tailored clothes and calling it health. I am spending the next two months completely revolutionizing the way I live my life.

I've come back to Little Rock, to my parents' house. With their guidance and assistance, I'll be exercising four times a day and eating only what is prepared for me. My diet is going to be a tricky thing to balance, since I need both the low-carb PCOS-friendly diet and the exercise-promoting energy-boosting diet; I'm meeting with a nutritionist tomorrow to help find a balance between the two.

In addition, I'm going to be maintaining this blog throughout this experience - I want to be accountable to you, my friends and colleagues, as well as to myself. What I'm trying to do is no easy task. Some of these posts are not going to be as upbeat as others, and I'm going to need you guys to cheer me on and keep me motivated on the harder days.

These first two months will be the toughest, but they're just the beginning. When I go back to Norman, I will be taking my new eating and exercise habits with me and continuing the fight. If I can get back down to a healthy weight, I may be able to reverse my insulin resistance and be able to live normally again.

Wish me luck, guys. Tomorrow, bright and early, I'm going to get started on changing my entire lifestyle - for good. =)